Mental Health and Me

As it is September, and Fall quickly approaches- I start to get excited for what is to come. Soon my big sister will be getting married in Hawaii. I am so stoked to experience island life for the first time- and as my best friend said last night, maybe I will like it so much I won't come back.
While that's not entirely plausible, it got me thinking. Why would I even consider something like that, and where does the desire to fly away from this small town appeal to me so much?
The year is 2017 and as a nation, we are finally starting to accept the concept of good (and not so good) mental health. We are now more accepting of people who have struggles and are more vigilant towards the signs and symptoms within our selves. At least I know that I am. For starters I recognize that I am not always the most happy person. I have my struggles, and I have noticed that in my adult life my struggles are harder to overcome at certain times. I know that my mental health isn't always in the greatest shape- and I know that it's not something to ever be sorry for or to feel bad about. As I have continued to grow and learn, I have noticed things that help in times that I feel kind of at a loss. One of those things is being on my own. When I say being on my own, I really mean being on my own. I mean going as far away from home as I possibly can and being completely alone. Alone with my thoughts, with my music and in my car driving just watching the miles pass by. I don't even care where I end up as long as there is something beautiful, interested or cultured to see. I am at my best when I am completely free. I can't explain why or even why I think that is, but it is the most effective way to reset my mind and boost my mental.
I think that is one of the reasons I am most excited to go to Hawaii because I can fly to a far away land, where I can experience cultures and food and beauty by the ocean- and get away from the mundane feeling that is my life right now.
As it may seem to others that my life is anything but mundane based on all the seemingly cool things I do like go on trips and go to all these concerts, for me there is still a void. I am so grateful that I get to do those things because it puts me in my happy place, but just like any other vacation- it comes to an end and I have to go back to reality eventually. My reality is that I feel stuck and lonely. I feel stuck because I don't have opportunity to get back to Arizona yet- only 4 more months, not that I am counting, and I wake up everyday and do the same job like everyone else. Not that that is a bad thing, I just feel like growing up is really starting to suck. I feel like I haven't felt the hand of true adventure in so long and that makes me sad because I blame work for making me too tired to go out and love being in nature and experiencing life... but that really isn't the problem. There is nothing wrong with my job and honestly I love the responsibility to wake up every morning and get to a job where people are actually relying on me. It makes me feel important. Out of all this I have come to realize that I am not tired... I am uninspired. I don't want to be that way. I want to be happy and motivated, and I know that to get back in to that, I have to start small.
For now, I have to make a new plan on how to boost my mental health. I know I can't just run away from my problems, or my job, or my crazy  (but free I might add) living situation... but I can take small steps to start taking better care of me. I can make it a point to see something beautiful after work every single day, even if it is in my back yard. I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone and at least go for a walk if I just can't get myself motivated enough to go to the gym. I can come home and do a face mask afterwards and listen to my music and just relax and spend time with myself. I can pick up a book and sit outside in the evening hours reading and working on strengthening my mind.
It is time to let my stressers go and focus on bettering myself, and in doing so- putting a little love towards myself and my mental health.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Showcase vs. Modest Mentality and Me

A recounting of 2017